


Spectres

by RoninReverie



Series: Old Kanera Fanfiction [3]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M, Flirting, Minor Injuries, Nicknames, Pirates, Ulkantha Asteroids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2019-04-26 05:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14394939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoninReverie/pseuds/RoninReverie
Summary: The search for a spare part for the Ghost sends Kanan and Hera to an unsettling trading area, but their troubles are just beginning when pirates are thrown into the mix.Meanwhile, Kanan tests out nicknames for the crew.





	Spectres

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr: [Link!](http://roninreverie.tumblr.com/post/136973768529/spectres)
> 
>  **IMPORTANT!** This series was written before the second half of season 2 aired on television, so all content is based on my headcanons after season 1 and the "A New Dawn" novel.
> 
> There are obscure Star Wars references in each chapter though, if any hardcore fans want to find them!

“Got a  _tie_  on out tail!” Hera yelled, “Sure would be  _great_  if you would  _hit_  it!”

“I’m working on it!” He hollered back. “But it might be nice—” He grunted and pulled the canon’s controls upward, “—if you could fix the targeting on this thing!”

“You want me to fly or do you want to shoot straight?” She bellowed, “Just hit something! Use your Jedi powers to aim if you need help that badly!”

Kanan groaned and fired the gun, grumbling,  _“That isn’t how it works…”_

Hera felt the blast rock the  _Ghost_  and she growled before the alarms in the control room started going haywire.

“Great!” she slammed her fist down on the dashboard, “The shields are down!” She wove the  _Ghost_ away from each shot from the Imperial fighter and called back to Kanan… “Either hit the _tie_  or prepare to die, Kanan. We can’t take any more hits!”

Kanan rolled his eyes with a groan and let out a breath to calm his mind. As he concentrated, the ship grew quiet and the sounds of battle drifted away. He could hear only the tie fighter. He could see only the steel-gray ship. He turned the gun towards the  _tie_  and—

_BOOM!_

Down with a single shot.

“Nice one, Kanan!” Hera yelled, “Now let’s get out of here!”

“Make the jump!” He shouted back—and off they went. 

Just another day in the life of arebel.

* * *

 

By the time Kanan made it back to the front of the ship, Hera had silenced the alarms, and was already on the floor, working on wires that hung loose from under the dashboard.

“Did our cloaking break again?” Kanan held the spot between his eyes. “Hera, this was supposed to be child’s play!” He ran a hand through his hair. “We can’t handle all of these repairs on our own—especially when everything goes out in the middle of a battle. We  _need_  to find a third crew member.”

“You don’t think I’ve tried?” She grumbled at him from beneath the panel. “We didn’t spend the better half of last week on Rion  _for fun,_  Kanan!”

He leaned against the wall with a grin. “What? You didn’t think that was fun?”

Hera bit her lip, but continued fixing the malfunctioning tech. They hadn’t really talked about what happened on the planet, Rion. In fact, they had this same, telepathic reaction to just keep what happened between them strictly there. Kanan had gone back to his usual self, and Hera thought she was doing really well at keeping her calm, but ever since that night— _ever since their kiss_ —she had been feeling nothing but tension and guilt.

She was happy when it happened,  _that she knew._  It was afterwards, after she realized that it hadn’t changed anything between them. Kanan was still his same self, full of quips and teases. He was still holding his emotions back from her. She knew it was all because of her, because of what she wanted—what she’d told him about her dream. He was still putting her needs ahead of his own. His selflessness only made Hera feel twice as selfish.

“Do me a favor—” She slid out from under the control panel, pointing to the back of the ship. “Go run a diagnostic on our escape ship and the  _Ghost_. That last shot from the  _tie_  seemed to do some damage.”

“About that!” He snapped his fingers. “We never use that thing except as a gun. But I was thinking that if it really came down to pulling it out, we’ll need a code name for it.”

“A code name?” She stopped what she was doing, her voice skeptical.

“Yeah,” he shrugged. His smile was like a child’s, full of excitement and pride  _simply_  for having the idea. He continued, “We all need one. I was thinking about it back on Rion when we were using fake names. It would be good if not everyone knew our real ones while we’re running around getting in trouble…Call me paranoid, but I don’t know if the Empire can tap in to our com pieces when we’re at a certain distance.”

Hera mulled over the idea and set her wrench on the floor, leaning on her knee to hear more. Kanan was always paranoid—but that didn’t stop him from fighting or standing out.  _Could the Empire listen in on their transmissions? Though,_  Hera doubted the covert necessity of having code names, and thought it was more for effect because Kanan wanted to sound cool.  _Probably the latter._

“Hmmm…” she hummed. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well this is the  _Ghost—_ ” he pointed to the floor. “So I was thinking that the old ship in the back be called the  _Phantom._ ”

“ _Ooh,_  mysterious…” 

He ignored her sass and continued… “And then you’d be  _Spectre One,_  and I’ll be  _Spectre Two._ ”

Hera stood and wiped the grease from her gloves onto her orange pants.

“Alright,” she nodded. It wasn’t a bad plan. Kanan sure seemed excited to utilize it. They could at least test it out to see if it stuck in public. Hera shook her head at him. “—but you should be  _Spectre One_.”

“It’s your ship?” he argued.

She shrugged, “True… but when we get out on missions, I have a feeling you will need to be doing more sneaking around than I will.” She gleamed at him. “Plus, it was your idea…So, you’re  _Spectre One_.”

He smiled and shook his head at her. There was no arguing with Hera when she set her mind to things. He agreed and they shook hands on it.

“Now go run the  _Phantom’s_  and the  _Ghost’s_ diagnostics!” She ordered, “I won’t ask again.”

“Alright…” He raised up his hands submissively, “I’m going! I’m going!”

* * *

 

Kanan grumbled all the way to the newly named  _Phantom._

“Wouldn’t have to do this if we had a droid.” 

He remembered when he and his old master, Depa Billaba, would fly off to other planets. The ships that they rode in were huge military grade warships, full of soldiers and droids that did everything from navigation to medical practice. Remembering how smoothly they were able to soar around the galaxy in those days—well..Kanan wouldn’t have minded the extra hands on board.  _Especially if it were a droid._  One good thing about a robot on the team—it would  _never_  be able to betray you.

“How’s it looking back there?” Hera’s voice echoed.

Kanan punched in the codes and watched the ship diagnostic run its course.

“The  _Phantom_ doesn’t look too bad!” Kanan called back. “But, this little part on the  _Ghost’s_ shields got fried. It looks like we’re going to need to replace it if we want our shields up and running anytime soon.”

“ _Seriously!_ ” she groaned. “Do we have any spares in the back room that’ll work?”

Kanan had spent the better part of a year organizing all of Hera’s junk. The ship was actually starting to look hospitable thanks to all the cleaning he did, and he’d touched every piece of scrap and every useless relic she owned, so he knew for a fact that they  _did not have it._

“No!” he hollered, “We’ll have to stop somewhere to get it— _and soon._ ” He made his way back to the front of the ship where Hera was typing in coordinates.

She pointed to the screen and let out a groan. “Oh great! The nearest place for something like that is  _there…_ ” She pointed reluctantly.

Kanan studied the chart and became confused. “An asteroid belt?”

“A pit stop,” she told. “It’s the Ulkantha Asteroids—a cluster of a broken moon that got destroyed and separated from it’s planet thousands of years ago.”

“It’s our best bet,” Kanan said.

“It could be dangerous. There are a lot of shady people that hang out around the area—smugglers, criminals, pirates—” She began to make a list with her fingers.

He lowered her hand… “Nothing we can’t handle.”

Hera thrust the ship forward and took off into the stars. She did not want to go to the Ulkantha Asteroids—but it was the closest hope they had. 

The supplies they stole _—the ones that got them chased off world and shot at by the tie fighter in the first place—_ troublesome as they were, they were going to do  _a lot_  of good to  _a lot_  of people. Kanan and Hera weren’t sure where to take them yet, but so long as they took it from the Empire to gave it to someone else—then it would have all been worth it.

It would all mean  _nothing_  without a shield. They got shot at almost every other day. Without it, they’d never make it to the next star system,  _let alone_  to someone who needed their help. It couldn’t be helped.

Hera sighed. “Alright  _luv…_ Let’s get this over with.”

* * *

 

They had just entered the immense cluster of asteroids, one massive one in particular soared through space, tumbling slowly past any of the tinier rocks that fell into its way. 

The subsidiary structure had tunnels and carvings embedded in the surface, and a few small buildings tracing the exterior like freckles on the terrain. It was difficult  _(or at the very least annoying)_  to travel through all the floating debris, so Imperials left it alone in order to keep their ships in good condition.  Surrounded by a wall of ever-moving rocks and a graveyard of broken ships, with no law enforcement to speak of—it was the  _ultimate_  smuggler’s den.

A few of the fragmented rocks scraped against the  _Ghost_ , but it was nothing that the ship couldn’t handle. Many a traveler might have come here for spare parts—only to need even more to fix the ship after they landed.  _If they landed._  But, not Hera. She was able land masterfully on the main asteroid as though she’d flown the path there a hundred times before.

“Alright—” She killed the power and headed for the door. “Let’s get out there, and keep the blasters handy. This place gives me a bad feeling.”

“You been here before?” Kanan asked.

“No,” she stood, “But I’ve heard stories from someone who has. It isn’t exactly a social hub. Lucky for us though, the manufacturers like to hang out on the outer level of the comet to steal scrap from ships that didn’t make it all the way through the belt.”

“Then, I guess we’re pretty lucky?”

He shot her a smirk, and she walked it off. She couldn’t look at that face he made, not right now.

 _Keep it together, Hera._ She told herself.

“Where should we go—” Kanan asked, adding with a cheeky smile, “Spectre Two?”

Hera surveyed the area. She knew that their best bet would be to either ask someone, or locate the biggest pile of scrap that they could. Since asking would lead them to a one way ticket into a fight, she searched for the metal.

“There!” she pointed.

It was a tiny hut, made of torn sheets of scrap salvaged from an old Republic Envoy. It was battered, burned, and completely ancient, but the simple scratched logos could still be made out beneath the grime. If anyone on this rock had the part they needed, it would be in there.

“Homely…” Kanan snorted.

Hera charged her blaster nonchalantly, but left it at her side. She was still skeptical about all the code names, but played along for Kanan’s sake.

“Come on… _Spectre One_ , let’s go make friends.”

Inside, they stumbled upon a disheveled Rodian who was missing one of his eyes and looked a little worse for wear. He spoke at them as they entered the hut, but he did not speak basic. His voice was tired and it was almost looked as though dust coughed out whenever he opened his mouth.

Kanan was the first to speak up.

“We’re looking for a part—” He traced the shape around with his fingers, “About yay big… small… for the shields. Got anything like that?”

Hera placed a hand over her face and shook her head.

“You don’t know what piece we need, do you?”

Kanan coughed.

“Well I’d know it if I saw it!” He defended. “But the official term for it—uh—well—no?”

The Rodian spoke again, shuffling around the hut, but ultimately ignoring the two visitors.

Hera flung her hands into the air and turned to leave. “This is a waste of time.”

Kanan was about to follow, when the familiar shape caught his eye. It was the part! It was a little rusted and buried into a large pile of junk metal—but that was it, Kanan was sure of it! He reached over and grabbed it from the middle of the pile, new junk sliding down the pile to fill the gap it left. 

He waved it to Hera with a smile and said, “Look! He did have it!”

Hera turned, but her eyes shot wide and she drew her blaster.

“Easy buddy!” she shouted.

Kanan froze, but felt the disturbing shift in atmosphere behind him. Apparently the Rodain didn’t take too kindly to strangers touching his stuff. He had a gun in hand, ready to fire it into Kanan’s back if he so much as flinched another muscle.

“ _Spectre One,_ ” Hera mocked, “I don’t think he’s a trader.”

Kanan shook his head, his arm still frozen in place. “Okay, so he’s a hoarder—No big deal. Should I switch to plan B?”

“Let me try something first,” she said softly, turning her attention back towards the Rodian. “We would like to buy this piece.” She spoke slowly, calmly. “Will you trade with us?”

He chattered angrily, his gun waiving around. Hera and Kanan weren’t sure what he was trying to rant to them about when all of the sudden—

_BAM!_

A light blew past Kanan’s head and he looked back to Hera. _Did she just fire?_  He wondered for only a split instance before he saw the ragtag band of thugs enter the hut behind her. Kanan was able to put the small piece in his holster and draw his blaster in one swift movement, reversing the roles of hostage that had just been made earlier.  _This must have been what Hera was talking about._

“Easy friend,” the voice spoke out. By the tone and the look of him, this group was obviously one of the hundreds of Weequay pirate bands that were scattered across the Outer Rim.

Kanan did not lower his weapon, and Hera was not afraid to turn around and face them.

“Why did you do that?” She growled, glaring him dead in the eyes to his everlasting amusement.

The pirates laughed.

“Blensav Yongee,” the pirate sighed, pointing to the corpse on the floor. “He has been a thorn in my side for far too long. He was terrible, never did business with anybody!”

“We noticed,” Kanan’s voice was hard. His finger inched towards the trigger, but a swift glare from Hera relaxed it.

The pirate shrugged. “That sort of selfishness doesn’t make it out here. He had it coming.” He snapped his fingers and the other pirates began raiding the shop. “Now we can take what we need, and you can as well, yes?”

 _Well, he had a point?_  Kanan thought. But Hera had that  _‘getting involved’_  look on her face. 

“I suppose so,” she said sourly, shocking Kanan and prompting a laugh or two from the pirates. Hera turned to her partner and sheathed the blaster, directing him out with a flick of her hand. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Kanan followed her lead, and the two walked right past the pirates.  _Maybe they could manage to get out of this without a big fight, for once._ Kanan thought.  _What a shame._

“Such a take-charge little Twi’lek…” the pirate leader said as he turned around to watch them leave.

“She would make a fine addition to the slave transport we are supposed to pick up on Tatooine!” Another added.

Kanan glared, and so did Hera.

“Just try it—” Kanan’s voice had never sounded so fierce. He was already chesting up to the Weequay with a dark glow in his eyes.

“Heal boy!” The leader laughed. “It was only a joke. You are a good dog to follow her so loyally.”

 _Dog? She did order Kanan around a lot,_  Hera thought.  _But, a dog?_  Kanan was loyal, he followed her everywhere, protected her, gave her lots of affection— _he wasn’t a dog in other people’s eyes, was he?_  She shook the thought away.

“Come on!” Hera persisted, her hand on his shoulder.

They were right in the doorway when the leader continued to mock them at his crew. “If he is the dog of a slave,” he pondered, “what would that make him—a slave dog?” The Weequay chortled, “Or perhaps a bi—”

Hera didn’t have a chance to stop him.

Kanan punched the pirate leader to the ground, and got that smile on his face…the one Hera saw him get whenever he was about to fight a lot of people all on his own.

That  _sorry son of a Bantha_  was about to feel Kanan’s fury for calling Hera a slave.  _Mock me all you wanted,_  Kanan thought, _but nobody insults Hera and gets away with it._  Least of all, some pirate scum like him.

“Uh,  _Spectre One_ —” Hera inched in, her voice still not used to using the absurd code names. “We should probably—“

Her voice was interrupted by the blaster shots.

“Right behind you!” Kanan hollered, rushing out of the small hut to find better cover.

The two started firing back as the pirates attacked, some charging towards them only to be kicked back with their leader. Turns out there were more of the pirates outside, and when a fight broke out on the Ulkantha Asteroid—that prompted more fights to start in the confusion. It was a chaotic bloodbath, but for now their main focus was on the massive mob of angry pirates trying to kill them specifically.

“Well, this is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into!” She shouted. Hera shot her blaster at the pirates, taking them out one by one with the slightest effort.

“You picked the hut!” Kanan argued.

“You picked the fight!” She snapped back.

“Can’t we go anywhere without someone shooting at us?” Kanan teased.

“Not when you’re around,  _dear!”_  she replied back sarcastically.

“On your left!” Kanan called, shooting past her.

“I see him!” Hera replied, dashing past him in order to land a strong kick to the next pirate who was attempting to flank them.

Kanan reveled at her abilities for a moment. Man, he loved watching her fight. He turned and delievered a firm left hook to another pirate when a strange feeling shook his chest. All of those good feelings, they disappeared, when he heard her gun hit the ground behind him. 

Kanan watched it happen helplessly, the first shot to her left leg that prompted a quick gasp of pain, and then the second that struck her face with no sound at all. Everything went quiet, his arm blasting on its own as he watched her hit the floor and go limp.

He stood there, just starring in disbelief for what felt like forever, before he finally found the breath to speak—and he yelled her name.

“Hera!”

Kanan shot the final three pirates back and rushed quickly to her side, scooping her up in his arms. He wasn’t sure what he should do—he felt only panic. Her leg was burned, and her body still. Kanan cautiously traced her face with two fingers, before tilting her head to the side to see a small scratch that had singed through her head gear and grazed her ear.

“Hera!” He shook her lightly. “Hera!”

She winced and groaned lightly, lifting herself out of his arms as she touched the tender skin by her face.

“Ouch!” She hissed, “That really hurt. Tell me you shot that guy for me…”

Kanan was relieved.

She was fine—the shot just blew her backwards. Her head had a pretty decent sized lump forming from where she’d hit the ground, and her leg would need attention, but Hera was alright. She was alive. Kanan had thought that if Hera ever got hurt, he would be enraged, but all he was— _was scared._ He was terrified that he’d lost another important person in his life— _the most important person in his life. What would he have done? What would he do without her?_ He couldn’t even bear the thoughts.

Without warning, he grabbed her by the chin and kissed her hard.

Hera’s eyes went wide.

He let go a moment later with equal shock blinking onto his face when he realized what he’d done, and he quickly leaned away.

“Sorry!” he exclaimed. “Sorry! Sorry!”

“It’s okay,” she said with a breath, asking after, “—are you okay?”

Hera held the side of his face in her hand and he placed his own hand on top of hers. She was using that sincere tone again, the one that made Kanan’s blood feel warm and his spine feel cold. It was a good feeling.

“I’m fine!” He almost laughed. “But you’re the one who just got shot.”

“Twice,” she corrected smugly, groaning afterwards. “Don’t remind me—I let my guard down… It’s embarrassing.”

Kanan laughed and looked into those beautiful green eyes. Leave it to Hera to get shot in the head and then walk it off like it were nothing but a nuisance. 

He froze that way for a moment, her hand still cradling his cheek, absorbing all the fear and worry that he’d just had. She hadn’t yet removed it. Kanan wondered what was she thinking—what the touch meant.

He got his answer when she slung his face swiftly into the ground, her free arm firing a blaster three times into a lone pirate who had started getting up from the floor. She was shooting over Kanan’s body with her arm pressed into his back for support, each bright blast of laser meeting its mark on the lone target.

Kanan turned and watched the pirate hit the floor before returning his love-struck gaze to his captain. There was a smirk on his face—the one that he got often which basically translated to: _‘look at how cool the love of my life is.’_

Hera noticed. She loved that look of pride in his eyes. She grabbed him and pressed their foreheads together, using his sturdy shoulder muscles to get herself up off the floor.

“You can bask in my glory later—” she tensed up painfully, and limped in the direction of the leg that had been wounded. Her voice was strong, but hushed with pain that she refused to reveal to Kanan. “Help me back to the ship before the rest of the asteroid decides to fight us too.”

Oh right. The sounds came back to him all at once. There were shots firing everywhere—the delicate balance of trust between smugglers and thieves cut suddenly by a single cruel comment and a punch to the face. 

 _Whoops._ He could take maybe partial blame for that.

Kanan picked her up completely in his arms and shrugged as she rested her head on his shoulder, feeling the safety in his touch as he hurried up the  _Ghost’s_ platform and into the ship.

“What happened to using code names?” She teased.

“Sorry!” He rolled his eyes. “I was worried.”

Hera nudged him with her head, her voice soft and sympathetic… “Sorry  _dear._ ”

He made a light sound with his throat and set Hera down in the co-pilot’s seat on the  _Ghost._ He handed her the tiny piece of scrap metal that they had come for. It might as well have been completely useless knowing that it was the reason for causing Hera this pain. Unfortunately, they still needed it to function. Life was bittersweet in that way.

“Kanan, I have to fly—” she started, but he was already moving, ignoring her sounds of protest.

Kanan had watched her enough times by now to know what to do, and she had given him a pointer or two when things got slow. Though he had never actually stolen the pilot’s seat from Hera before, he managed to steer the  _Ghost_ off of the huge asteroid, maneuvering around the rocks without a single problem. Hera made involuntary noises of fear every time he dodged a rock or scratched the paint. But, in no time they were out of the belt and jumping to lightspeed, gone in a blink long before any of the pirates could follow them.

“Nicely done,  _Spectre One,_ ” she praised, her voice visibly relieved that he hadn’t crashed her ship.

“It’s not the first time I’ve had to pilot!” He gave her a look, but thanked her for the compliment. “The  _Ghost_ sure has a smooth take off.”

“Oh I know,” she snickered, “It’s  _my_  ship!”

He smiled and rolled his eyes, piloting the freighter farther into the stars, leaving the Ulkanthe Asteroid Belt far, far behind. In a few moments, they were safely drifting through nothing but wide black space.

Before Hera could even think to tell him to put in the replacement bit for the ship’s shield generator _,_ he set the auto pilot and ran back to the closet where they kept the medical supplies. She watched as returned and immediately began tending to her two wounds with what little supplies they had on board.

Her face was first. Kanan gently helped her helmet off, applying the blue medicine to the long burn across her ear. It immediately began to heal. It wasn’t so deep that it would scar, something Kanan was thankful for.

“You really should tend to the ship first,” she groaned after that, but stood by her comment.

Ignoring her, Kanan had moved down, cutting the cloth off of her pants leg where he rubbed the remainder of the tiny container of bacta on her burn. It wasn’t as good as lying in a tank of the stuff—and it wasn’t a very good quality like a medical droid might have—but by the sounds of Hera’s relieved sighs, Kanan was just grateful enough that they had it on board.

“You’re too stubborn for your own good,” Kanan sneered, “You know that?”

“I’m fine,” she rolled her eyes.

“You’re lucky,” his voice changed pitch.

Hera sighed in defeat. “Thank you for patching me up, Kanan.”

He was quiet. Too quiet. Thought filled and quiet.

“Well, you should be more careful!” he stated strongly. His thoughts drifting… “I—I should be more careful…”

“Kanan…” Hera touched his shoulder.

“I don’t know what I would do—” he clasped his eyes shut. “If you ever—“

Hera had never felt this cold sting of remorse before. Kanan was really worried, and not just the usual amount. The really got scared when she had gotten shot. She was just trying to shrug it off as no big deal, but to Kanan—it was the biggest terror he could imagine.

Hera felt that pang of guilt again, her hand gripping at the green cloth on Kanan’s sweater, and her eyes full of pain. “You must hate me…” she said, not sadly or as a joke, it was just an empty blurt on her part.

“What?” Kanan wasn’t expecting her to say that to him—ever?

He finished wrapping her leg in bandages, the he delivered a stern stare in her direction. “Of course not—I could never hate you? Why would you even ask me that?”

“If I were in your position—” she sighed, “I would hate me.”

“Hera,” he said, “I could never hate you—If anything I love—“  _Whoa Kanan,_  he thought,  _take a step back._ “—the missions we go on together. I love fighting for a cause. I love being on the  _Ghost._ It gives me a reason to wake up in the morning.”

Hera saw through his words.

“That! Right there,” she pointed, “That’s what I’m talking about!”

“What?”

“You!” she exclaimed, “You’re infuriating when you do that!”

“Alright—” he gave her a half grin, “You lost me…” He took a seat beside her and folded his arms. “Tell me what’s going on in that bruised head of yours.”

She sighed.

“Spill…” he persisted.

“Kanan,” she looked him in the eyes. “It’s obvious the way you feel about me—the way that I feel about you. We both know it…”

Kanan swallowed, “Go on…”

“We’ve been doing this for nearly a year now…and Kanan—” She huffed, “I don’t want to keep pretending like we don’t have a connection to one another. But, you—you care about me too much! You put my feelings before your own, and I’m  _not_  okay with that! I’m not okay with you suffering inside, just to keep me happy.”

He lost his breath as if she’d punched him in the gut.  _What was this?_  He wondered. He thought he was doing a pretty good job at giving her space, but okay—sure, a few mindless flirts and accidental kisses came out every once in a while, but he only said those things to see her smile. He thought that Hera knew that.  _She wasn’t about to cut him loose because of what he’d said, was she? Was it the kiss?_  She had never been so direct about this topic before—but then again, he always assumed that they would have to have this talk sooner or later. The chemistry was too strong to avoid forever.

Kanan thought about arguing—he thought about telling her that she was being ridiculous—he thought about shrugging this off with a tease.  _He thought a lot of things._  But, when the time came, he realized something—and all he could do was smile, and then he started to laugh.

“I’m serious, Kanan!”

“Oh, I know,” he rubbed at the spot on his chin where he grew facial hair. “Hera,” he smiled softly, “I didn’t think that we were pretending—I knew what you said when you took me on as a member of the crew. I know we know what the other is thinking. What we feel—it isn’t a big secret to anyone. So, if that’s what you’re leading up to, then let me just give it to you straight, right now—” 

Hera was still.  _She probably thought that he was about to deny it,_  Kanan thought. But, women always find out the truth— _always!_  He had no reasons to lie to her for something that they both already knew was true.

He leaned back in his chair. “I know we have more important things to do, and until we’re done with them—I can wait,” he said simply.

Hera’s face looked confused, then sad, and then angry. She spoke with a harsh tone, her finger jabbing at his direction.

“And what if there was no done… _what then?”_

Kanan tilted his head back and looked at her with a smile. 

“ _For you,_ ” he said, “I could wait forever.”

She felt a happiness well up inside her. That strange, unique feeling of happiness that only he could make her feel for some reason.  _He might have been feeding her what she wanted to hear,_  Hera thought. Nobody was that honest—that passionate—that patient! Kanan was a great man, and through their travels and all the time they spent together she had loved every second of their missions, their bickering, and their openness for one another.

It wasn’t that she thought Kanan was really trying to mask his feelings in order to honor her dreams—it was more like this guilt on her part. She liked him so much, but she was keeping him trapped like the pirate had said. He was on a leash wrapped around her finger, obedient to her beck and call. It wasn’t fair to keep him enslaved to her like that, she wouldn’t allow herself to do that to him.  _She liked him too much._

“But, Kanan—that isn’t fair to you—” She started, but he placed a finger to her lip and stood from his seat.

“Don’t you worry about me,” he grinned as he wandered to the door with the medical supplies in hand. “If the Jedi taught me one thing,” he said, “It was patience.”

“You’re not patient at all?” she gave him a look.

Kanan folded his arms and wrinkled his face at her.

“Hera,” he said. “You worry too much about my feelings. I am the happiest that I’ve ever been just because I’m with you. And if we have to take out the entire Empire—or wait a hundred years for them to die out—well then, I am just happy to be fighting with you right now.”

“But—“

He interrupted her again and set down the medical supplies.

“Every time I take down a Stormtrooper, that’s one step closer to being with you—” he punched the air to show the effect. Then he pointed towards the kitchen and smiled softly, walking slowly back towards her as he spoke. “Every time I fix you a caf—I like to think that it’s my way of kissing you again.” Kanan took her shoulders and smiled warmly down at her. “Every time you knock on my door to calm a nightmare, it’s my way of hearing that you love me.” He let his hands drop. “There are all these little things Hera…They are enough.”

She couldn’t help but blush.

“That’s crazy,” she said, trying hard not to smile.

“We will always have Rion,” he stated, “and for me, that’s enough—because that’s enough for you.”

Hera’s anger returned and she stomped to a stand, “Well—maybe it’s not!”

Kanan eyes were big and he blinked.

Hera realized what she’d said, and gasped.

“Where is all of this coming from exactly?”

“The pirate…” Hera mumbled.

“What?” Kanan couldn’t hear.

She groaned and leaned back in her seat, “I said the pirate!”

“The—” he stopped and let out a laugh, “Oh, is that all—I was afraid that you were going to say Zaluna.”

“Her too!” Hera sighed and stood. “It’s everybody…everything! I love being with you, and everyone expects there to be something more there—even I think that sometimes—why is it so hard to just be around you and not feel guilty?”

“Guilty? Is that what this is—you feel guilty about me?”

She held her arms, and bit her lip, looking anywhere to escape looking at him.

“Look at me!” His voice was louder than it usually was, and when she ignored it, he took a step forward and said her name in an angered sort of way that she’d never heard him use before. “Hera!”

Reluctantly, she looked, and saw his face. His brows were low, that wrinkle in the middle of his forehead that sunk in whenever he frowned. She’d never seen him make that face before.

He grabbed her by the arms and she wasn’t quite sure what he was about to do, but she dared not look away this time. He surprised her with a hug—a tight, meaningful sort of hug that made her arms hurt because of how hard he held her to him.

“You are my best friend,” he pulled away and drove the words into her with his stare. “I would do anything for you, and I’d only do it because I wanted to! It’s not because of you. It’s because of me—and our friendship. You are not allowed to feel guilty about my feelings—” He cupped her face, his eyes intense and blue as he said, “—or yours!”

Hera’s eyes burned for a moment before an involuntary tear snuck out. Kanan wiped it away with his thumb and place his hand back on her shoulder.

“Promise me—” he said.

“Promise what?” She asked back.

“That you won’t ever try to feel for the both of us again,” he stated. “Just yourself. You can’t handle both of our emotions.” He smirked a little. “And if you want to  _punch_  me, or  _hug_  me, or  _kiss_  me,” he spoke faster, “Well then you just go ahead because I already made up my mind.”

She looked at him.

“As soon as there’s no more war to fight—” he gave her the look. “ _You’re mine._ ”

She lost her breath then too, but felt her heart pounding in her chest. She couldn’t let him see how flustered he made her, so she raised her eyebrow and gave him that serious stare.

_Two could play at this game._

“Oh you think that’s how it’s going to be?”

Kanan nodded and looked down to her with his flirty smile on his face. “Yeah!” He sure looked smug.

She ran her finger under his jawline and clipped it off of his chin with a swift flick of her hand. “We’ll see about that,  _luv_ …” She was using her flirty matter-of-fact voice that made Kanan get shivers.

“And no more getting shot!” he teased, his face hovering cautiously around her own.

“If I’m not mistaken—” She winked at him. “—none of this would have happened if you had shot down that  _tie_ when I told you…”

He pulled back with a grin and a nod. “I knew that somehow this was my fault.”

Hera chuckled and stood back to her feet, stumbling slightly before strongly rising to a proud stand. “At least one good thing came out of all this,” she said, returning to her natural place on the pilot’s chair.

He debated it, but decided to tease her anyway. “Your confession of undying love to me?” He cupped his hands to his jaw and blinked.

Hera got a look and turned the Ghost abruptly sideways so that he would fall over on the floor. He didn’t of course, but it did make him fumble, which was payback enough.

“The intel,” she said. “Now we know for sure that there’s a transfer ship still on Tatooine. I’ve been thinking about what the Jablogians said on Rion, and now the pirates way out here are in on it too. This is something big, Kanan, much bigger than a simple slave transport.”

“You’re actually thinking about going there?” Kanan was predictably shocked at her.

“It’s long overdue…” she shook her head, but didn’t allow any additional bad feelings come into her mind. Instead, she was laser focused, ready, and already back at the head of the  _Ghost,_ prepping the hyperdrive. “Hide our valuables and strap in, Kanan! We’re going to Tatooine.”

He chuckled and scoffed. “ _Psh! What valuables?_ ”

He returned her determined gaze and cracked his knuckles. This was a big leap for her. She hasn’t been on Tatooine since she escaped it all those years ago. She talked about it to him often. The stories of her home world, the escape from a life of enslavement, the regret, and the fear.  She was facing her worst nightmares,  _something Kanan could never do._  He’d help her anyway he could. To the ends of the galaxy.

He nodded to her, their eyes speaking to one another, telling each other all of the secrets, all of the emotion, all of the stories of their lives, all by one simple look. 

This was going to be a little harder than out-flying  _Imperial ties_ , collecting random intel on possible rebels, or tussling with pirates. They knew it, and yet the burning desire, the curiosity to go—it was far stronger than all of the fear.

“Punch it!”


End file.
